The Prompt:

Afraid to Do by Mary Jaksch

The other terror that scares us from self-trust is our consistency; a reverence for our past act or word, because the eyes of others have no other data for computing our orbit than our past acts, and we are loath to disappoint them. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Emerson says: “Always do what you are afraid to do.” What is ‘too scary’ to write about? Try doing it now.

(Author: Mary Jaksch)

Until now, I’m always too afraid to inflict pain on my characters. I’m not talking about getting slashed by the sword or your boyfriend is leaving you kind of pain. It’s that one big blow striking the very core of the character’s belief, something that would feel like someone took the ground they’ve been standing on.

For instance, I could never write an ending like in City of Angels (movie) or One Day (novel by David Nichols). I hate them and I would never want to write (and read) something like that.

On the other hand, I would love to be able to write an ending like The Book Thief (novel by Markus Zusak). It’s not necessarily pain free, but it made the book more beautiful in my opinion.

Perhaps I believe too much in the saying “everything happens for a reason” so I couldn’t inflict a random pain. As if, I, the story maker needed to know the reason of the pain before I’m able to bestow it on my characters. Even then, often I still couldn’t do it, afraid that I would hurt my soul too in the process.

I promise I will work on my fear, and I’ll try to kill or backstab a character or two. Maybe you’ll get to read it if I think it’s good. But please, don’t tell me it’s an absolute necessity, or if it’s a sure way to make a book much better, because I only believe in pain when it makes the character stronger.