Come Alive. I AM Alive. – Day 6

The Prompt:

Life wastes itself while we are preparing to live. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

If you had one week left to live, would you still be doing what you’re doing now? In what areas of your life are you preparing to live? Take them off your To Do list and add them to a To Stop list. Resolve to only do what makes you come alive.

Bonus: How can your goals improve the present and not keep you in a perpetual “always something better” spiral?

Again, the perpetual question of do I want to live my life the way I do it now. I kind of feel this prompt was too similar with the day 1 prompt (especially since it’s only 5 days apart). Never mind, I would do my best to answer it.

In my mind, there is a huge difference between only six days and whether I would reply those six days for the rest of my life.

If it’s only six days, I’d rather spend it with my loved ones. I’ll throw a goodbye party with my friends here, take one last city tour with lots of picture, and then fly to my hometown, throw another goodbye party with my friends there, and then spend the rest of my remaining days with hubs and my parents.

Now, if those are the six days on repeat, I didn’t think it’s feasible. People will grow tired of my weekly goodbye party :D. So, to answer the question of whether I would still be doing the things I’m doing right now, I’d rather think of it in a year basis.

I feel alive when I write, travel, eat gourmet food, design, exercise, read books, look at pictures of funny cats, go for a walk around the city, shopping, put on makeup, play games on the PS3, have people enjoy what I wrote/design, hang out with my friends, cuddle with the hubs, and spend time with my parents. I don’t feel alive when cleaning up, doing paper works for government/tax/visa, reading my bank balance at the end of the month, taking in other people’s critique for my work, PMS-ing, sitting all day long, and dealing with negative people.

Those are mostly the things I do in my life right now. Plus some occasional procrastinating that includes facebook gaming, spending too much time reading up other people’s life and comparing myself to them (which is really bad!), and watching some TV shows.

Procrastinating definitely goes on my To Stop list. Most things on my I don’t feel alive list, I just have to deal with because it’s just part of life. I do see the point however, to resolve only doing the things that made me feel alive.  It made me happier living my life.

Now, the “always something better” spiral is the hard one for me. I realized that lately I have a problem of patting myself on the back. I always thought I could still improve. When I finished writing a chapter, I said, “I should’ve done it last week/month/year/whatever.” That’s brings up the anxiety attacks. Even worse is when I start questioning myself whether I’m good enough to make it as an author or someone who works in a creative field.

The great thing is, writing this post reminded me that when I do things that made me feel alive, I feel happy. Happiness and blissful feelings create wonderful inspiring things. The future is something we never know for sure so I’ll just make sure I’m happy doing what I do, put on my absolutely best effort, and believe whatever result comes up at the end of it, it’s for the best!


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