Sure, not always. (But it’s alright).

This is kind of a personal post, inspired by a blog post on Positively Positive about Giving Yourself Permission to be Imperfect. It’s one of those posts that wakes me up, thinking I might be trying too hard to create a perfect version of me. It made me feel slightly pretentious, and it’s tiring when in the end, you felt like you’re constantly looking for approvals.

So, I really like the idea of taking off my mask and embrace my faults (even though it scared me to do it). Not judging, not trying to be better, just embracing it and loving it for what it is. Because believe me, despite your imperfections, you would have perfections in other parts of your life, so it’s alright. Things balanced themselves. And it’s really alright to have them.

So, here’s my “dirt”:

• I procrastinate. I planned to write this post since Monday and only got around to doing it on Thursday.
• I want people to think I’m smart.  Which leads me to being afraid of failures or trying out things that might look like it’s stupid.
• I’m a slob. I don’t like cleaning up.
• I love fried foods. Especially fries and banana fritters. My Achilles heel.
• If someone hurt me, I would plot a vicious revenge before I could forgive them.
• I could fall into the same trap twice (or more).
• I’m scatter brained. I love to do many things but sometimes it feels like I can’t focus long enough to finish one thing.
• I’m impatient when it comes to things I wanted.
• I over-think and over-plan.
• I love shopping. Mostly shoes and makeup, sometimes over spending.
• I need extra effort to get up and do sports. Oh yes, I do yoga and running, but usually it started out from a grumpy me. The mood changes, but still!
• I don’t like stupid people. Which is why it’s best for the world that I’m not a teacher.
• I still haven’t got my life figured out. I know I am doing the things that I love, but there are days when everything seemed like it’s going wrong.
• There are days where I feel like a failure and just want to hide under my covers.
• I keep score. Instead of forgetting and start new.
• I’m still struggling to be authentic.
• I can’t control my emotions, and I cry when I’m angry (and hungry).
• I hate it when people could see my weaknesses.

There’s probably more to it than what I wrote here, but that’s what I could come up with for now. It’s a good therapy for me. To realize all of these, and just be okay with it. I am working on making some things better, of course. But some things are just better be embraced instead of fighting it off.

Please do post some comments or share your dirt! (Yes, partly for egoistic reasons so I won’t feel so lonely doing this 😀 ).

I promise, my next post would be something more useful, possibly something about Berlin :).